Yesterday, I was on campus late taking an exam. Exam closed at 11:59 p.m. so I crammed before the exam till 11 p.m.
I completed the exam and had to walk back to my car. I begin to get really scared. Campus has a different look at night. First began when walking through an alley on campus and it was dark and scary for me, nobody around. I became really nervous that I ran through that alley, even though I was on the phone. I got off the phone, while walking I passed a student, I assume, on the regular walk ways (again no one else around)... I began to think how easy that tall man could hurt me, attack me, and how hard it'd be to get him off of me if something happened. Soon every man I walked by at a given time, not even close to me, I'd experience more and more fear that it just began to add up to how I was already feeling. I was walking through the cross ways (campus is big). I began to have extreme paranoia. Began thinking about Ted Bundy and how he would pose as a college student to his victims.. (that didn't help). I never had this happen to me before. The feelings I had, I was so scared. I'm not as familiar with the school at night. And not only that I had parked somewhere new and really wasn't sure how to get back to my car.
My emotions got so high that I broke down crying as I walked through campus trying to figure which way to go that would lead me to the right parking lot, that led to my car, my sanctuary. I called my son's father, and told him how scared I was. He was shocked I was crying. After I started to see more people towards the dorms and after my crying began to cease, my emotions started to cool down, and I calmed down. I couldn't believe my own body, and emotions that just happened to me.... being so scared. I never experienced that before.
I don't think that would have ever happened to me before that man took my security away from me. Three months after and it is still affecting me.
Every so often I actually feel like I'm healing and I'm better, but then something like this happens and shows me that I'm not completely healed and I don't know if I'll ever fully recover from this.
